Baby Steps
Moving right along with the therapy stuff. I don't know that I'm going to be able to afford to do it the way I think it would really help me. Or, perhaps, right at first I just don't have the momentum to look for the best way to do it (i.e. some good, cheap therapy), so I'm going to perhaps pay more than I ought to for a little while as I figure out what I really want and need regarding all of this stuff. I sort of feel like this: If I let the money stop me right at first, I'll never get it off the ground. So, I'll spend more than I ought to at first with the goal of figuring out the best thing to do (which may very well be not having a therapist or finding a cheaper one). I've given up some stuff in my budget in order to do it for a few months at least, so we'll see.
I have a budget. A real one. Not one that I'm 'thinking of doing,' but one that I've had for a few months now. It's not perfect, but I'm working on it, and that's a good thing. Slowly but surely I do think I'm climbing out of some holes; with a little bit of luck I'll make it out for the long-term. A little good luck never hurt.
I am starting to recognize that the slow-and-steady-wins-the-race attitude is really the only one I'm going to be able to work with. The negative is that it sure doesn't feel like progress sometimes. But changing my attitude for what counts as progress is part of the process itself, really. This morning, before I talked to a potential counselor, I was going over my finances, trying to find some money to do the therapy thing. I was getting frustrated, because I just don't really have the money to do it the way I'd like--but then I realized a little later that I really have improved in so many ways: I have a fucking budget to look at and try to work something out with. I have a way to try to save money. I am not avoiding my money problems, but rather trying to face them. And even if I'm failing in some sense (i.e. if I can't go the therapy route), I am at least succeeding in some small way in that I at least know that I can't yet afford it. Knowing that may not make a whole lot of difference--but most likely it will make a difference. I'll be able to set therapy as a goal, to plan for it financially and such. And that sort of success matters--or at least it ought to.
Be Nice to Me On Wednesday
I'll have my first appointment this Tuesday. I'm thinking I might be pretty distraught by the time it's over, actually. The people I've known who've been going to therapy long-term end up a bit tender for a few days after a session, especially right at first. I'm thinking that lotsa cans of lotsa worms will be opened. Or maybe not. But still, I'm looking forward to at least trying this, even if it doesn't turn out to be what I want (or what I can afford).
If this therapist isn't a good fit for me, I have a couple of other options at the moment, and more to explore if I need/want to. So things are looking up on that front and I'm happy with myself that I'm trying to be happier--trying all sorts of ways that I can.
Moving right along with the therapy stuff. I don't know that I'm going to be able to afford to do it the way I think it would really help me. Or, perhaps, right at first I just don't have the momentum to look for the best way to do it (i.e. some good, cheap therapy), so I'm going to perhaps pay more than I ought to for a little while as I figure out what I really want and need regarding all of this stuff. I sort of feel like this: If I let the money stop me right at first, I'll never get it off the ground. So, I'll spend more than I ought to at first with the goal of figuring out the best thing to do (which may very well be not having a therapist or finding a cheaper one). I've given up some stuff in my budget in order to do it for a few months at least, so we'll see.
I have a budget. A real one. Not one that I'm 'thinking of doing,' but one that I've had for a few months now. It's not perfect, but I'm working on it, and that's a good thing. Slowly but surely I do think I'm climbing out of some holes; with a little bit of luck I'll make it out for the long-term. A little good luck never hurt.
I am starting to recognize that the slow-and-steady-wins-the-race attitude is really the only one I'm going to be able to work with. The negative is that it sure doesn't feel like progress sometimes. But changing my attitude for what counts as progress is part of the process itself, really. This morning, before I talked to a potential counselor, I was going over my finances, trying to find some money to do the therapy thing. I was getting frustrated, because I just don't really have the money to do it the way I'd like--but then I realized a little later that I really have improved in so many ways: I have a fucking budget to look at and try to work something out with. I have a way to try to save money. I am not avoiding my money problems, but rather trying to face them. And even if I'm failing in some sense (i.e. if I can't go the therapy route), I am at least succeeding in some small way in that I at least know that I can't yet afford it. Knowing that may not make a whole lot of difference--but most likely it will make a difference. I'll be able to set therapy as a goal, to plan for it financially and such. And that sort of success matters--or at least it ought to.
Be Nice to Me On Wednesday
I'll have my first appointment this Tuesday. I'm thinking I might be pretty distraught by the time it's over, actually. The people I've known who've been going to therapy long-term end up a bit tender for a few days after a session, especially right at first. I'm thinking that lotsa cans of lotsa worms will be opened. Or maybe not. But still, I'm looking forward to at least trying this, even if it doesn't turn out to be what I want (or what I can afford).
If this therapist isn't a good fit for me, I have a couple of other options at the moment, and more to explore if I need/want to. So things are looking up on that front and I'm happy with myself that I'm trying to be happier--trying all sorts of ways that I can.
posted by Jeff Pollet at 9:10 PM
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