Body o' Flux
It's really weird, the way my body feels today. I didn't work out last night because I felt a cold coming on. Instead I went home to bed, and boy was that a good decision, I think. I feel better today, and it was just a good thing for me to do mentally, to head home and just nest for a night. But I also decided to 'binge' a bit on a burrito and some chocolate chip cookies.
Thing is, even such 'binges' are much different for me now. I ate half of a burrito, and some guac/chips. Usually I eat a third of a burrito and some guac/chips. Then I made some cookies--8 of 'em. And I couldn't finish them. Plus, I just felt bloated and icky last night (partly because of being sick, I think), and I didn't at all experience what I remember from binges past--a feeling of fullness that was comforting. Feeling full isn't comforting any longer.
That's a pretty big deal for me. And while I think of it as mostly positive, I wonder/worry a bit. Shouldn't I be able to gain some pleasure from that, sometimes? Will I reach a point where I don't eat enough because I don' t like the way any food in my stomach feels? That's not likely to happen any time soon, actually, but I remember a friend of mine who would 'feel fat' around her belly in a very negative way anytime that she had just eaten. I don't think I want to feel that way.
The key to avoiding that, I think, is exercise.(Not that I have to avoid wasting away, mind you. But still, I want to be as healthy as I can--body and mind and all that--so I want my body image to be healthy, as well as my body; and, as might be obvious, one doesn't follow from the other in enough ways, currently.) If I had exercised last night, I wouldn't have felt like having so much food at all--and even if I had, I think I would have felt better (minus the cold) at any rate.
And now, this morning, my body feels really, really big, and not in the good way. I ate a larger-than-normal breakfast (two bannannas in my oatmeal!) just because I felt hungry, but ever since I've now felt bloated and icky (bein a wee bit sick probably has something to do with it, still) and decidedly not hungry at all.
It's just very strange that my body, which hasn't changed much in, oh, the past 6 hours, feels like it has changed a LOT in that time. Back and forth a bit, even. And the links between those feelings and how I imagine my body looks are so very strong as to seem sort of unbreakable. Given that they might be, I'm going to try to have some more positive ways of imagining my body, so that the feelings I have 'in my body' will be happier ones in general.
Filed under:
Health
It's really weird, the way my body feels today. I didn't work out last night because I felt a cold coming on. Instead I went home to bed, and boy was that a good decision, I think. I feel better today, and it was just a good thing for me to do mentally, to head home and just nest for a night. But I also decided to 'binge' a bit on a burrito and some chocolate chip cookies.
Thing is, even such 'binges' are much different for me now. I ate half of a burrito, and some guac/chips. Usually I eat a third of a burrito and some guac/chips. Then I made some cookies--8 of 'em. And I couldn't finish them. Plus, I just felt bloated and icky last night (partly because of being sick, I think), and I didn't at all experience what I remember from binges past--a feeling of fullness that was comforting. Feeling full isn't comforting any longer.
That's a pretty big deal for me. And while I think of it as mostly positive, I wonder/worry a bit. Shouldn't I be able to gain some pleasure from that, sometimes? Will I reach a point where I don't eat enough because I don' t like the way any food in my stomach feels? That's not likely to happen any time soon, actually, but I remember a friend of mine who would 'feel fat' around her belly in a very negative way anytime that she had just eaten. I don't think I want to feel that way.
The key to avoiding that, I think, is exercise.(Not that I have to avoid wasting away, mind you. But still, I want to be as healthy as I can--body and mind and all that--so I want my body image to be healthy, as well as my body; and, as might be obvious, one doesn't follow from the other in enough ways, currently.) If I had exercised last night, I wouldn't have felt like having so much food at all--and even if I had, I think I would have felt better (minus the cold) at any rate.
And now, this morning, my body feels really, really big, and not in the good way. I ate a larger-than-normal breakfast (two bannannas in my oatmeal!) just because I felt hungry, but ever since I've now felt bloated and icky (bein a wee bit sick probably has something to do with it, still) and decidedly not hungry at all.
It's just very strange that my body, which hasn't changed much in, oh, the past 6 hours, feels like it has changed a LOT in that time. Back and forth a bit, even. And the links between those feelings and how I imagine my body looks are so very strong as to seem sort of unbreakable. Given that they might be, I'm going to try to have some more positive ways of imagining my body, so that the feelings I have 'in my body' will be happier ones in general.
Filed under:
Health
posted by Jeff Pollet at 7:28 AM
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