Back to the Body
I haven't posted in a while about how my exercising stuff is going. Contrary to consclusions to which one might jump, things are going pretty well on that front, which is partly why I haven't talked about it for a while. It's also changed from something that I am very, very excited about, to something that--while I do get excited about it from time to time, in good ways--has become part of my daily life to some extent, so it gets talked about and thought about less.
I have mixed feelings about this. Mostly I don't want to get bored by exercise, so I want to sort of stay excited about it. On the other hand, things that I don't get specifically excited about like eating, breathing, masturbating--are still very important to my life and aren't boring in any sense of the word, really. Ok, well, I guess I just threw 'masturbating' in there to see if you're paying attention. I still get specifically excited about that.
But as exercise becomes part of 'what I do' in my life, I'm more likely to just get excited about a particular new exercise or activity, I think. And that will happen, has happened. I walked around the lake the other day, and that was fun and new. Someday soon I may try a jog around there, which will be the first time I've run/jogged outside--the first time I've 'done a lap'--since high school, probably. So there is newness/excitement on the horizon in that way. (Oh! And I'm hoping to start doing yoga again in a few months. It's a cash-flow thing, but I think I've got it worked out, mostly.)
And the plus side of exercise just being a habit? Well, just that exercise is now a habit in my life. That is just something that I never really was hoping to achieve, really--or that I never let myself hope to achieve. And of course it's not something static; it could turn out that I get out of the habit rather quickly. But it's been around a year now that I've been exercising at least a few times a week. And that's pretty exciting. Not to mention it's been a few years now that I've been biking around. If I feel bored, wondering what I ought to do, I'm as likely to go for a walk or a bike ride (especially now that it's not raining) as I am to read. Ok, maybe not quite as likely--but it's now an option on the table, something else to enjoy. And that sure is nice.
One primary worry is that once I have some other things in my life--like, say, friends who make plans with me ahead of time or, wonder of wonders, a lover or two--the exercise will be the first to go. But here's my plan to keep that from happening: Don't ever make new friends or find new lovers. That should be easy.
No.
My real plan: Moderation. That's been the key to keeping the exercise stuff going, for turning it into a habit for me. The important thing, really, is that I keep doing it. Even if 'it' drops off quite a bit, or I have to start watching what I eat more, or paying more attention to how many calories I'm burning, the key is to just keep exercising, keep it as a habit. And the longer I do it, the easier it gets--in fact, it's getting sort of compulsory at this point. I'm finding that sitting around for 5-6 hours, something I used to be able to do no problemo, makes me antsy. Riding my bike home from Movie Night the other night at midnight showed me just how antsy I can get. I am now relieved when I get some exercise, a good deal of the time.
And how has all of this affected my body? In some ways, it's hard to tell. I look at pictures of myself from, say, 5 years ago, and I don't look that different. (Pictures from two years ago tell a different story--I've defninitely toned up since then, for instance.) But I know that I am different. I'm not in peak shape or anything--I still get winded when I wish I didn't, going up certain hills on the bike, for instance. But I'm certainly in the best shape of my 30s. Which are half over, by the way, next month. And in some ways I'm in the best shape of my life--especially where the mental and the physical intertwine. I don't tend to like to escape reality by binge eating as often, for instance--and exercise plays a big part in that. I also have some of the best body image of my life, even in the face of having my last lover find herself just not attracted to me any longer, which was a pretty bad blow. There are some wrinkles (erm, literally as well as figuratively): I tend to also be more picky about my body, to maybe look in the mirror too much, to want certain parts to change even more than I used to--but I think this is balanced out by the fact that I can sit in my chair at work and feel, really feel better about, say, my gut--not that it's so very much smaller than it used to be, but that it's getting smaller, and--more importantly--there's a layer of muscle under there that was never as thick as it is now. I'm stronger than I've ever been. That's my favorite mental/physical improvement: I'm optimistic, even about the stuff I don't enjoy about my body. And not only am I more optimistic about what I can become, what I may become, what I will become--I'm strangely more optimistic about the possibilities of lovers finding this body an object of desire. Which is, y'know, a pretty nice perk, even if it's all theoretical at present.
Filed under:Health
I haven't posted in a while about how my exercising stuff is going. Contrary to consclusions to which one might jump, things are going pretty well on that front, which is partly why I haven't talked about it for a while. It's also changed from something that I am very, very excited about, to something that--while I do get excited about it from time to time, in good ways--has become part of my daily life to some extent, so it gets talked about and thought about less.
I have mixed feelings about this. Mostly I don't want to get bored by exercise, so I want to sort of stay excited about it. On the other hand, things that I don't get specifically excited about like eating, breathing, masturbating--are still very important to my life and aren't boring in any sense of the word, really. Ok, well, I guess I just threw 'masturbating' in there to see if you're paying attention. I still get specifically excited about that.
But as exercise becomes part of 'what I do' in my life, I'm more likely to just get excited about a particular new exercise or activity, I think. And that will happen, has happened. I walked around the lake the other day, and that was fun and new. Someday soon I may try a jog around there, which will be the first time I've run/jogged outside--the first time I've 'done a lap'--since high school, probably. So there is newness/excitement on the horizon in that way. (Oh! And I'm hoping to start doing yoga again in a few months. It's a cash-flow thing, but I think I've got it worked out, mostly.)
And the plus side of exercise just being a habit? Well, just that exercise is now a habit in my life. That is just something that I never really was hoping to achieve, really--or that I never let myself hope to achieve. And of course it's not something static; it could turn out that I get out of the habit rather quickly. But it's been around a year now that I've been exercising at least a few times a week. And that's pretty exciting. Not to mention it's been a few years now that I've been biking around. If I feel bored, wondering what I ought to do, I'm as likely to go for a walk or a bike ride (especially now that it's not raining) as I am to read. Ok, maybe not quite as likely--but it's now an option on the table, something else to enjoy. And that sure is nice.
One primary worry is that once I have some other things in my life--like, say, friends who make plans with me ahead of time or, wonder of wonders, a lover or two--the exercise will be the first to go. But here's my plan to keep that from happening: Don't ever make new friends or find new lovers. That should be easy.
No.
My real plan: Moderation. That's been the key to keeping the exercise stuff going, for turning it into a habit for me. The important thing, really, is that I keep doing it. Even if 'it' drops off quite a bit, or I have to start watching what I eat more, or paying more attention to how many calories I'm burning, the key is to just keep exercising, keep it as a habit. And the longer I do it, the easier it gets--in fact, it's getting sort of compulsory at this point. I'm finding that sitting around for 5-6 hours, something I used to be able to do no problemo, makes me antsy. Riding my bike home from Movie Night the other night at midnight showed me just how antsy I can get. I am now relieved when I get some exercise, a good deal of the time.
And how has all of this affected my body? In some ways, it's hard to tell. I look at pictures of myself from, say, 5 years ago, and I don't look that different. (Pictures from two years ago tell a different story--I've defninitely toned up since then, for instance.) But I know that I am different. I'm not in peak shape or anything--I still get winded when I wish I didn't, going up certain hills on the bike, for instance. But I'm certainly in the best shape of my 30s. Which are half over, by the way, next month. And in some ways I'm in the best shape of my life--especially where the mental and the physical intertwine. I don't tend to like to escape reality by binge eating as often, for instance--and exercise plays a big part in that. I also have some of the best body image of my life, even in the face of having my last lover find herself just not attracted to me any longer, which was a pretty bad blow. There are some wrinkles (erm, literally as well as figuratively): I tend to also be more picky about my body, to maybe look in the mirror too much, to want certain parts to change even more than I used to--but I think this is balanced out by the fact that I can sit in my chair at work and feel, really feel better about, say, my gut--not that it's so very much smaller than it used to be, but that it's getting smaller, and--more importantly--there's a layer of muscle under there that was never as thick as it is now. I'm stronger than I've ever been. That's my favorite mental/physical improvement: I'm optimistic, even about the stuff I don't enjoy about my body. And not only am I more optimistic about what I can become, what I may become, what I will become--I'm strangely more optimistic about the possibilities of lovers finding this body an object of desire. Which is, y'know, a pretty nice perk, even if it's all theoretical at present.
Filed under:Health
posted by Jeff Pollet at 7:30 AM
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