My Legs Hurt
For some reason, I'm very conscious of my body the last few days. It may be just the flip side of the fact that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately--some of it about some more complex issues than I've dealt with in a while, some of it emotional stuff. As such, I think I've also been pushing myself during my exercise time, and on my rides to and from work and such. I was actually pretty achey yesterday, as well, and I had decided to not exercise at the end of the workday, but by the time the end of the workday came around, I was raring to go, in need of some venting-exercise. Thing is, I think I'm also becoming sort of obsessed with the cardio. Maybe that's the way cardio affects my body, by making me sort of addicted to it? I guess I was that way with free weights for a while, too. At any rate, once I get on the stationary bike, I keep trying to up my miles/time that I keep my heart rate up/calorie burn numbers. Which is sort of strange, I guess...but the long and the short of it is that I've worked my body too hard and too fast this week so far. I may go do some weights after work, or do a little bit of cardio (maybe a ride around the lake), but I think I need to give my legs (at least) a bit of a rest.
This body stuff is weird. It's sort of like what Steve said recently talking about replacing the carpet in his house. Once you start to clean the place up, you start to notice other stuff that needs doing. I feel that way about my body lately, which doesn't feel exactly healthy. I need to keep focusing on the progress I have made, on the health aspects of it all--lately I've mostly been wanting to lose some of my belly. And it's strange, because I am healthier (though not as healthy as I'd like to be), I'm leaner in a lot of ways; you can see it in my face, in my arms and legs, in my torso in general. I can feel it as I ride up the hill on my way home from work. And yet, when I climb into bed at night, I feel my belly, I feel my whole torso not being what I want it to be. And that feels really weird to me, because I can also feel myself toning up in my torso--it's just not as fast as the rest of me; it's the last part of my body to feel the effects of getting more muscle and less fat.
I guess what I'm facing is that I'm hitting something of a wall as far as my progress visually goes--and that wall is making me feel more body (self-)conscous, not less. And again, that doesn't feel particularly healthy, emotionally. I've started to change my relationship to my body, and I'm not entirely happy with the new relationship.
On the other hand, I'm still on the slow-and-steady-wins-the-race kick, really; I'm eating (for the most part) what I want, not going hungry. Trying to eat more fruits and veggies, eating smaller portions; eating those little portions and snacks more often, so I can eat less and not feel hungry. And I'm exercising, enjoying that still. I just wonder if my body will ever be able to move up to a different level of fitness, or if I want it to. What I mean is: Do I want to be a person who is athletic, or a person who exercises so that he can eat more of what he wants to eat? False dichotomy, sure, but I still make decisions along these lines all of the time. A big part of me wants to be just more athletic--but my mindset is such that thinking of myself that way is difficult; also, I think given the fact that I haven't been that way in my life up until now, being athletic in the sense I'm talking about may not be possible(?)...it may be too much of a change of lifestyle for me to really do it.
Or maybe I'll do it slow and steady?
Filed under:Health
For some reason, I'm very conscious of my body the last few days. It may be just the flip side of the fact that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately--some of it about some more complex issues than I've dealt with in a while, some of it emotional stuff. As such, I think I've also been pushing myself during my exercise time, and on my rides to and from work and such. I was actually pretty achey yesterday, as well, and I had decided to not exercise at the end of the workday, but by the time the end of the workday came around, I was raring to go, in need of some venting-exercise. Thing is, I think I'm also becoming sort of obsessed with the cardio. Maybe that's the way cardio affects my body, by making me sort of addicted to it? I guess I was that way with free weights for a while, too. At any rate, once I get on the stationary bike, I keep trying to up my miles/time that I keep my heart rate up/calorie burn numbers. Which is sort of strange, I guess...but the long and the short of it is that I've worked my body too hard and too fast this week so far. I may go do some weights after work, or do a little bit of cardio (maybe a ride around the lake), but I think I need to give my legs (at least) a bit of a rest.
This body stuff is weird. It's sort of like what Steve said recently talking about replacing the carpet in his house. Once you start to clean the place up, you start to notice other stuff that needs doing. I feel that way about my body lately, which doesn't feel exactly healthy. I need to keep focusing on the progress I have made, on the health aspects of it all--lately I've mostly been wanting to lose some of my belly. And it's strange, because I am healthier (though not as healthy as I'd like to be), I'm leaner in a lot of ways; you can see it in my face, in my arms and legs, in my torso in general. I can feel it as I ride up the hill on my way home from work. And yet, when I climb into bed at night, I feel my belly, I feel my whole torso not being what I want it to be. And that feels really weird to me, because I can also feel myself toning up in my torso--it's just not as fast as the rest of me; it's the last part of my body to feel the effects of getting more muscle and less fat.
I guess what I'm facing is that I'm hitting something of a wall as far as my progress visually goes--and that wall is making me feel more body (self-)conscous, not less. And again, that doesn't feel particularly healthy, emotionally. I've started to change my relationship to my body, and I'm not entirely happy with the new relationship.
On the other hand, I'm still on the slow-and-steady-wins-the-race kick, really; I'm eating (for the most part) what I want, not going hungry. Trying to eat more fruits and veggies, eating smaller portions; eating those little portions and snacks more often, so I can eat less and not feel hungry. And I'm exercising, enjoying that still. I just wonder if my body will ever be able to move up to a different level of fitness, or if I want it to. What I mean is: Do I want to be a person who is athletic, or a person who exercises so that he can eat more of what he wants to eat? False dichotomy, sure, but I still make decisions along these lines all of the time. A big part of me wants to be just more athletic--but my mindset is such that thinking of myself that way is difficult; also, I think given the fact that I haven't been that way in my life up until now, being athletic in the sense I'm talking about may not be possible(?)...it may be too much of a change of lifestyle for me to really do it.
Or maybe I'll do it slow and steady?
Filed under:Health
posted by Jeff Pollet at 7:03 AM
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